Friday, September 23, 2022

A Beautiful Sunset

 We were staying at my Boss's "Summer Place" up in the mountains and it was all so wonderful.
"Kaaren" had quickly found his favorite spot and almost every afternoon, he could be found sitting out on the veranda, looking out over the property, all the way to the green mountains beyond.
"It's what Heaven would look like", he said  when he first saw it.
I usually sat with him but sometimes I had to logon and do something to earn my pay.
I warned him not to stay in the sun for too long and came inside to do a little work via computer.
Afterward I took a break and must have dozed off.
When I woke I called out for "Kaaren".
He didn't answer.
I went out to the veranda, the sky was full of color, a beautiful sunset.
But my "Kaaren" was gone.
He had slipped away while I slept.
The Medical Examiner told me it was an aneurysm and there was nothing anyone could have done

But it was my fault.
I should have been there. I should have been watching over him.
But I wasn't, and my Sweetheart left me, and neither of us got to say goodbye.
It's been a couple of weeks since he's been gone and I am sorry I didn't let you know sooner.
But now you do.



  1. I'm so sorry! But he went from a place he found peaceful, and beautiful, where he could fly into the sunset. He knew you were right there for him, and you had taken him there.

    About 6 years ago, my mother was fighting cancer and staying with me. I was feeding her soup one day... and her head just leaned back into the pillows... they say it was an aneurysm. But I know, and could tell my brother and sister, there was no sign of pain or discomfort, no cry... and she never seemed aware of what happened. Passed peacefully at home, not in some sterile hospital bed.

    We will miss him. May you find peace.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss.

  3. So sorry for your loss. This has been one of my favorite tg blogs

  4. Mrs K, words cannot describe how sorry i am to hear about your loss. Kaaren was a special soul who will be missed by many. However, you did everything that you could to care of Kaaren so please do not think of Kaaren's parting as being in any way your fault. i am sure Kaaren would not have wanted you to think that in any way either.

    My thoughts are with you and your loved ones at this really difficult time. It was the post i feared reading but you wrote it so beautifully, thank you for letting us all know, i realise doing so must have been very hard.

    Take care


  5. This is so sad… but you made it sound so beautiful.
    You must feel so lonely now.
    Take good care of yourself and of your beloved sissy memory.

  6. lamento mucho tu perdida, lo encontraremos a faltas, un abrazo muy fuerte desde España

  7. I am so sorry to hear that. We will all miss Kaaren very much.

  8. My condolences on your loss. How sad you couldn't say goodbye.

  9. Mrs. K, I am so very sorry for your loss. It was obvious you two had a very special relationship. Thank you for sharing your lives, love, and loss here all these many years. We will miss Kaaren very much, but it cannot compare to what you are mourning. I wish you all best. - Kate

  10. My heartfelt condolences to you. Hugs and prayers. Gw3n

  11. I'm so sorry for your loss. I could tell that you truly love him and that it will be a large hole in your heart. Please keep letting us know how you are doing periodically because for some of us we care about you as much as we cared about Kaaren.
    Michelle Hart

  12. I am so sorry! Glad that a glimpse of heaven was there to savor.

  13. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.

  14. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Deepest sympathies


  15. Dear Mrs K

    I'm so, so very sorry to hear your sad news and thank you for letting all the readers of his blog know. I've been reading Kaaren's many blogs for several years and will miss him deeply. He's been such a source of light and companionship over the years in my own journey and I've really appreciated his posts which I would look forward to every week.

    I hope that you have all the support you need, good people around you whom you can turn to and who can help you through this very sad time.


  16. Mrs K....i am at a loss for words. my deepest sympathies go out to you, your family, prayers also. i'm teary-eyed right now. i just wish there was something i could do.

    love & prayers

    sissy terrie

  17. I've already left a comment on "Such a Sissy 2" but I was writing up a big long post about Kaaren, and I was struck by a song that I ended up posting there that I think fits Kaaren, Out of all the muppets, I think she was Gonzo the most, and this was from his best song.

    Come and go with me, It's more fun to share
    We'll both be, completely at home in midair.

    We're flying not walking, On featherless wings.
    We can hold on to love, like invisible strings

    There's not a word yet, for old friends who've just met.
    Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place.

    You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
    I'm going to go back there .. Someday.

  18. So very sorry to hear this, truly. What happened was 100% *not* your fault. Please try to be kinder to yourself.

  19. So very sorry Mrs. K... This blog and all the others have been amazing, it gave me strength to be myself. Kaaren will be missed.

  20. I am so sorry. So sorry

  21. Mrs K, I lost my wife a tear ago last August, from Stage 4 Ovarian cancer. Like Kaaren my wife passed away when I was not with her. She was comatose and I step away for a second to show my daughter where something was in the kitchen. It was just 3 minutes but when I went back to her side she was gone. Grief does a lot of things to your mind and makes you question every action, like the doctors said there was nothing you could have done. A friend of mine sent me the following, I cried my eyes out when I read it but ultimately it is something that has given me some peace. I hope it someday gives you peace.

    Grief never ends....
    but it changes. It's a
    passage, not a place to
    stay. Grief is not a sign
    of weakness, nor a lack
    of Faith... It is the Price
    of Love.

  22. My condolences to you Mrs. K. From what I understand you did all you could and were a wonderful, loving and loyal partner who supported Kaaren all the way. May you always have fond and loving memories. Zoe

  23. What's up? Ae you going to stop blogging?

  24. this is such sad news for me. I have been absent from here for sooo long, and thus have lost track of many. But there was a time when Kaaren and I were thick as thieves, our daily lives being shared. Nowhere that I have interacted has there ever been a sweeter or kinder or more gentle girl than Kaaren. No where. To learn that she has died is a sad day for all of us, and I know it must be for you as well Mrs. K. I'm weeping as I write this. My prayers are with you and Kaaren in Sissy Heaven. xoxo, Leeanne

    1. Leeanne l, like many others, are so sad about Kaaren. following your back and fourth comments with her we’re a treat for us to share.
      It’s been almost 3 years since you’ve been away from the blog
      I worried that something had happened to you too. I’m glad you are still here

  25. Mrs.K - I am soo sorry! Do not blame yourself, for there is no way you could have stopped that. I think at that beautiful place and time, it just … became time. Take care. Hugs, SaraE

  26. I am so sorry about your loss. You and Kaaren were soul spirits and lucky to have found each other and experienced so much together. Do NOT beat yourself up, you did everything a loving spouse should do. Thank you for letting us know, but there is nothing more you could have done.

  27. My condolences and thank you for all you and Kaaren having given us readers over the many years.

  28. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  29. There's nothing you could have done. I'm so sorry for your loss. Kaaren passed away in what sounds like a beautiful place.

  30. My condolences to you and the family and may you find peace during this difficult time

  31. I hope you are doing well...or at least as best as can be considering. :)

  32. I was reminded a few days ago of my time up to a couple of years back, when I was able to daily read Kaaren's blog. Life got in my way and now I see I missed some very important times in your lives. I always enjoyed reading and trying to imagine if I could have had such a fulfilling life.

    Mondays were always my favourite as ManCandy is something I really do wish to add to my diet.

    My thoughts are with you Mrs you continue on your journey through life. Wishing you peace and love.
    Twistedcd Lauren Millar in Canada