Kaaren!!!! What The Hell Is This!!!

My wife came into the room and stopped dead in her tracks. Her jaw hung open and she rubbed her eyes as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.
"Kaaren!!!! What the hell is this? What the hell is going on???"
"Hi honey," I stammered as I started to explain, "You see I was doing my chores like you told me to when the doorbell rang. When I answered it Sister Mary here told me she was collecting for the needy. Well I invited her in and we got to talking and I told her that since you put me in that cage I've been feeling pretty needy too....and ....well one thing lead to another and here you are now,"