In A Dream

 During all this time I have had plenty of time to think...and dream....

In a dream I relived an intense experience I've never forgotten...

Most of what I'll tell you actually happened but then the rest is just my dreaming mind finishing it for me....

I was about 17 years old and it was late....very late....I had snuck out and bought a couple of six-packs down at Bogie's Tavern....although I was obviously underage the bartender didn't care if I bought beer to go....and he charged extra and pocketed the difference....it worked out for both of us....

I drank them all!!! All 12...and was happily buzzed as I walked towards home....

Then who should I bump into but Donna L.!!!

Donna was the prettiest girl in the loose crowd I sometimes hung out with....

Blonde Farah Fawcett hair....a lovely complexion and a pretty face that she had thankfully never used too much makeup to hide....

Her high waisted jeans showed off her slim figure and her tube top hinted at her lovely little breasts hidden beneath....

It was quickly apparent that she was just as drunk as I was....

She'd had a fight with her boyfriend Ronnie and had sat in a friends house drinking to get over it....

We both laughed when we met....I offered her my arm and that's how we walked....arm in arm....talking and laughing.....I was sorry when we reached her house....

She leaned over and thanked me for making sure she got home....then she kissed me on the cheek!!!!

I waited until she got to the door and waved to her as she went in....

But I had something in mind....

Her bedroom was in the finished basement....in the back of the house....

I won't tell you how I nearly castrated myself climbing over the locked gate....

Why her dog didn't bark I'll never know....he must have been the deepest sleeping dog ever....he didn't hear a drunken idiot invading his space in the middle of the night...

Oh well....thankfully I got over the gate without losing any of my vital bits and without waking her dog....

I got down on my knees and looked inside and there she was!!!!

Standing in just her little bikini panties....her back to me....looking at herself in her mirror.... 

I was ecstatic!!!

She wasn't....

She looked at herself....in her near nudity....and grabbed her small, perfect breasts....she gave them a squeeze....and her frown told me all....

She was the prettiest of all the girls in our group.....but somehow....she wasn't happy with her body....

What I wouldn't have given  to look half as pretty as her!!!!

But she turned away from her reflection and moved toward her bed....

That was all real....that actually happened....and it taught me something about how I saw the world....

But then....

In my dream....

She saw me at the window....and instead of screaming for her father....she smiled and opened the window and asked me what I wanted....

I told her the truth....that I wanted to make her feel happy....that I wanted to worship her....adore her.....to give her joy.....and that was all....I wanted nothing from her....

And in my dream I slipped under her sheets and pulled her panties aside and gave her the best orgasm I could....and it must have been good because she held me there till I gave her three more.....

When I got up to leave she wondered what I would do about my own arousal....

I told her that I didn't want anything from her....that my pleasure came from giving her pleasure....

She smiled....she had a beautiful smile....and handed me her panties....as a keepsake....and I thanked her and left as quietly as I could....

Back to reality.....

She didn't see me...she turned off the light and went to bed....

Donna and Ronnie never married....I honestly don't know whatever became of her....

Google and Facebook and all that, haven't helped me find her and my wife gets a little jealous when she discovers I've been looking.

But even now....after all of the years since....I can still remember the beauty....

Donna...in her panties....in front of that mirror....with her perfect breasts....

And how sad she looked....

All Those Nights

All those nights I watched her....

Dressing....undressing.....doing things.....driving me mad!!!!

All those nights I stood in the dark....wearing cute panties and a tight bra...while I stroked my little cock.....while I watched her....

And not once in all those nights did I ever dream that she could see me....that she was enjoying watching me just as much....

Until that night....

Hump Day

On Hump Day you finally laid out your final offer....he still wanted more but your hands were tied!!!

Monday ManCandy

 Although I haven't been well over the past couple of months...that doesn't mean that my cravings have eased up....if anything...they've gotten more intense!!!!

And I may not be able to enjoy my favorite breakfast treat directly from the tap....I still enjoy it any way I can get it!!!!

ManCandy!!! It may not be a universal cure-all....but it's close!!!

Thank You

I want to thank you all for the good wishes and prayers....

You got me through some very dark times!!!

I can't thank my wife enough for updating the blogs....I always hated when a blogger just disappeared and you didn't know why....

I'm not 100%....not even close....but for the first time in months I feel like I'm getting better.

I'm going to post stuff....some new...some stuff that has been sitting in my drafts folder since forever...

But you will have to forgive me for not posting as regularly as I did....

Just grabbing the laptop from the table is more of an effort than ever....

I will post this across my blogs to make sure everyone sees this....

I wish I could thank you all in person....

I'm pretty sure we would all enjoy that....

But as I've said before....

I love you all!!!!

Kisses

Kaaren

A Gift

My wife came in and cuddled with me last night....

She asked me again about the nurses...

I told her about the nurse whose scrubs clearly showed her panties....white bikinis....

I looked forward to seeing her every day!!!

"Did you tell her that you liked her panties?"

Her hand slipped under the covers....I haven't been caged since I went to the hospital the first time....so she slipped her hand over my naked clit....

"No Ma'am....I didn't..."

She wasn't really stroking me....it was more like a massage....but I was really enjoying it!!!

"Do you think she was doing it just for you Sissy? Showing you her pretty panties just for you?"

"No Ma'am...."

Her warm hand felt so.....so good.....

"And what was her name, or was she just Nurse Panties?"

"I didn't know her name....."

"But you kept looking at her? Ogling that sweet girl? Without a thought about how she might feel about it?"

Her hand was rubbing my clit.....it was so nice....I was beginning to fear that I might cum...

"Yes Ma'am....I couldn't look away...."

"From her panties?"

"Yes....from her panties....you know how I am about panties...."

"Yes I do Sissy, was there a little bow on her panties or couldn't you see that?"

"I couldn't see that....oh my god...."

I was going to cum....I was going to cum all over her hand....

"Just imagine Sissy, when she pulls down those tight pants and you can see her pretty panties! That little satin bow, and she's wearing it just for you!!!"

I couldn't help it....I had the first orgasm in her hand....since....I can't remember when....

She smiled at me as she let me lick her fingers clean....

"You know I'm going to spank you for this when you feel better, right?"

"Yes Ma'am....thank you...."

"I love you Sissy!"

"I love you too Sweetheart!"

So Cute

 I'm beginning to understand why "Kaaren" enjoys writing this blog. There is the freedom of talking about things with hundreds of people that I would never discuss at all in person.

Last night "Kaaren" asked me if I was satisfied.

I didn't understand at first, but, then it dawned on me.

I told him that I hadn't felt very sexy lately, it's hard to be sexy and worried at the same time.

He told me that he was worried about me too, he said that he wants me to have orgasms. He said that I needed them.

I couldn't really argue with that. I have been a very sexual person since I was very young.

First alone, then with horny boys.

First in my hand, then in my mouth and finally inside me.

I loved it all.

Now I just find that my interest has waned as I tend to my sweet sissy husband.

But last night "Kaaren" wanted to make me happy.

He wanted to worship me as he's done so often.

I told him I was worried that he wouldn't be able to breathe.

Get ready, here's the cute part.

He smiled at me and said, "Don't you know, you've always left me breathless!"

How could I say no to that?

Mrs. K

Promising Signs

 I came home last night exhausted physically and emotionally.

It was a very long day at work and a very hard day to be working in NYC.

When I got home I really found myself hoping that "Kaaren" wouldn't need much from me.

It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm tired.

And still scared.

And I'm tired of being scared!

All of my life I've been able to take charge and fix the things that needed to be fixed, and I hate being powerless to help the one person that means more to me than anyone else in the world.

When I came in the door the health aide met me, as usual, to give me an update on "Kaaren".

She had a big smile. 

"Come see!" she told me.

I followed her up the stairs with a little trepidation.

When I went into the bedroom I found my sweet girl sitting up in bed.

Looking very pretty in one of his pastel blue nighties.

His makeup was done to perfection, and his hair was styled into a kind of updo!

But it was his smile that stopped me in my tracks, I suddenly realized I had not seen his sweet smile since all of this began!

"Doesn't he look pretty?" asked his aide, her name is Joanna.

"He looks beautiful!"

I tried not to notice the oxygen tubes that he still wore but as for the rest of him, I could have eaten him up right there and then!

Joanna told me that he had asked her to help him to look pretty for me and that she had been reluctant at first, but afterward the two of them had ended up enjoying themselves very much.

I gave her a tight hug which she returned, before she turned and left us alone.

I had tears in my eyes as I took "Kaaren's" hand and told her how pretty she was, and how much I enjoyed seeing her like this.

I kissed her ruby red lips and reached down to give her a squeeze.

She suddenly looked worried.

"I don't think I'm ready yet."

I told him that I understood, that I can wait for him, that I love him, that he made me so happy today.

He smiled his beautiful smile at me again, then he apologized. He was so exhausted from just this that he had to lie down again.

I smiled and stroked his pretty hair.

I told him I would wake him for dinner.

I stayed until his breathing became steady as he slipped into dreamworld.

Then I went and had a good cry in my room!

It was a promising sign but it also showed me how far he had to go.

Thank you all for your good wishes and prayers. I have shown them all to "Kaaren" and he asked me to thank you all.

Once again, Thank You All.

Mrs.K

 

What's Happening Now

Since his last post "Kaaren" has been in and out of the hospital twice more.

It seems like every step forward leads to two steps back.

The doctors reassure me and I take him home, and in a day or two he's re-admitted.

It scares me.

Every time he comes home he seems diminished.

Smaller, weaker, less and less like himself.

He tries to be brave but all it does is make it all seem worse.

It's like a scene from a bad, tragic romance movie.

He can't do anything for himself at this point. My insurance, thank god, pays for a daytime aide which allows me to go to work. But I can't concentrate and the corporate sharks are circling. My superiors have assured me that my position is secure, but I'm sure that could change quickly.

I push all of that aside as I look at my sweet husband, looking so small and helpless, and my heart breaks a little bit more.

He's sleeping now. I know he feels bad when I cry but how can I help it.

He asked me to post an update over a week ago, and I wanted to, I really did.

Then he was back in the hospital again and his blogs were the furthest things from my mind.

He asked me about it today and I confessed that I hadn't done as he'd asked, he looked a little hurt and asked me to please do it soon.

I check on him all through the night, I make sure the oxygen tubes aren't tangled and that he's under the covers. It seems he feels the cold more than he used to.

And I feel the cold too, and I'm very afraid for him.

So there you have it.

Mrs. K